Natural Socialite

Is your night time “Head Wrap” turning your man off? | The Natural Socialite

In Dry Hair Remedies, Natural Hair, Natural Hair News, Socialite Says, Style Guide on August 3, 2011 at 12:46 pm

I am literally cracking up over here! LOL! Essence.com recently posted an article entitled Sound -Off: Is a Do Rag Really Okay in the Bedroom?, and I was tickled to death about how serious the guys that were interviewed felt about their Boo’s nightly head wraps. I mean, you all have heard me say time & time again…. If I don’t protect my hair at night, you might as well call me Florida (Evans) when that alarm clock goes off in the morning! lol. My hair ends up looking like the Black struggle & low self-esteem after just one night of neglect.

Our hair should not be interfering with our love lives, or our nighttime romance. Redefining ourselves means we are open to feedback, to listening and to changing if need be those things about our habits, rituals and personalities that end up costing us the love, happiness, and fulfillment we seek.
It is a well-known fact that natural hair and cotton fibers don’t mix, and the friction caused from tossing & turning at night can strip your hair of its natural oils and cause breakage. I will just have to tell my husband that I’m deeply sorry (not really) if my silk scarf is causing him problems, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. Honestly, I’ve never noticed any “lack of attraction” on his end so………….. *Kanye shrug*
I howled with laughter, then I realized he was quite serious. Another gentlemen in his early 40s chimed in, “Yeah, I have begged my wife to at least give the hair thing a rest a few nights a week — it is hard to feel connected sexually to my wife when she has hardware in her hair, or her hair is covered up and I cannot touch it. Very frustrating, but if I say something about it we end up in a huge fight. So I don’t say anything anymore to keep the peace.”
Now I don’t want to seem insensitive to this group of Black men, but I cannot understand how a scarf or bonnet makes one less attractive to their spouse or partner. I mean, would you rather your woman sleep without her “hair equipment” at night and look busted at work tomorrow, so that you can get your night of “sexual connection”? What will that do for the attraction you feel for your spouse when you awaken from your night of passion?

Lucille Ball wearing a sleep bonnet in I Love Lucy

The idea of wrapping hair for sleeping is nothing new, nor is it something that is exclusive to Black women’s hair. Back in the 1940s women would get their hair done in the salon once a week or so and, in order to preserve the style, would wrap their hair in head scarves so that they could get as much “wear” out of the style as possible before having to have it re-set.
If my husband felt completely turned off by my bonnet and asked me to oblige, of course I would. Just for one night though…. Don’t get too used to that though sir. I kid, I kid. I have been considering investing in a nice satin pillowcase, so I just may go ahead and make that purchase in order to preserve my sexy.
~Charlotte
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